Happy Wednesday. Sharing some more writing today with all you lovely humans who read my blog ♥
The fire will eventually cease to be stoked.
The fire being the internal battle,
with our demons,
our darkest stories,
The demons never go away.
The dark stories don’t magically disappear.
And the trauma, it remains.
These things can’t be changed.
What can change,
with time, understanding, grace, and a fuck ton of love for our own self and our process,
is a different path.
I could have stayed on the path I was on in 2012.
I could have kept holding that trajectory for my life.
I could have decided to keep placing the voice of the darkness and the trauma just slightly above the voice telling me that somehow, even though I didn’t know how at the time, healing was and is possible.
Healing is time.
It is layers.
It is like an onion.
The things I have learned in the past seven years make it all worth it.
It’s incredibly painful.
Honestly more painful than the darkness and the demons because I’m no longer numb to all of it.
But it’s worth it because I feel so ridiculously alive,
in touch with my soul,
in touch with nature,
and experiencing joy and stoke instead of fear and shame and numbness.
I’m not sure if healing is ever over.
Our process is never over.
It’s not a static thing.
Just like we as humans are not static beings, we are very dynamic.
Therefore our healing and our process is dynamic.
as we gain more insight into our story.
Ebbing and flowing,
as natural life changes occur and seasons occur.
We exist in cycles just as nature exists in cycles.
There are seasons for growing,
There are seasons for healing,
There are seasons for doing the deep work,
and feeling like we are barely bobbing above water.
While it’s all a continual process,
It feels lighter compared to when the fire was always being stoked.
The fire will go out,
and it will probably be out for a while before you realize it’s out.