“So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings.”
There’s a question I’ve been a few times as of late and I thought I’d delve into the can of worms:
“But how did you get to a stable place in recovery?”
I think the even broader question is - when does the shift occur, from shaky to stable and is there even a shift?
Simply put, I wouldn’t call it “stable”.
And the shift is so gradual that I wasn’t even fully aware of it until I really think about where I WAS vs. where I AM NOW.
The stability, per se, really boils down to being capable of taking in a lot of triggers on the daily and rolling with them for the most part.
It’s not some magic trick.
It takes YEARS of trial and error.
It takes YEARS of ups and downs and spins.
And let me tell you - I’ve had many many ups and downs and turn arounds.
The process was not linear, not even close.
More like a cha-cha.
Perhaps being semi comfortable with pivoting is the best advice I could provide.
Adapting on the fly.
Knowing when to push forward and when to pull back.
Being ok with abrupt changes, maybe not ok ok, but ok enough to not have them trigger you to take yourself out.
It’s a lot of trusting the process.
I kind of really think about this all in the following way:
I’m stable because of accepting and trusting the magical mess that comprises my being.
Pivoting can be fun and an interesting challenge but I also know how to run and realize that I can always “fall back” on running from a situation if need be.
I’ve spent A LOT of time learning to understand my brain.
There’s a lot of objective thinking versus blaming that has occurred over the years.
Really, I’m using my human experience as a giant learning curve 🤓
#adventureawaits #forceofnature #findyourhappy #wanderess #staystoked #wanderwoman #wildchild #badass
#mentalhealth #staywild #keepgoing #youmatter #thrive #womensupportingwomen #progressisaprocess #beauthentic #personalgrowth #growthguru #spiritual #recovery #sweatydirtyhappy #eatingdisorderrecovery #mindfulness #rockyourbliss #trustyourself #followyourpath #andshedopetoo #outdoorwomen #wonderfulwildwoman
“Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn't something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn't get in, and walk through it, step by step. There's no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That's the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine.
And you really will have to make it through that violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: it will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades. People will bleed there, and you will bleed too. Hot, red blood. You'll catch that blood in your hands, your own blood and the blood of others.
And once the storm is over you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about.” | Haruki Murakami⚡️
100% pure, raw, and honest truth.
The storm is “over”.
I am surviving.
I am healing.
The storm almost destroys you but it also teaches you.
It teaches you about who YOU are.
What makes you tick, what your basic human needs are, where your strengths and weaknesses exist.
The storm is your way out in a sense.
While it’s happening it feels like you might just lose it, go under, never come back.
But the after (or “after”):
Things seem ok. Whole. Manageable.
When your brain tries to tell you that you’re weak, inferior, incapable, not worthy, a failure....
YOU ARE STRONG AF & YOU MATTER.
#mentalhealth #staywild #NH48 #mentalhealth #recovery #sweatydirtyhappy #andshedopetoo #outdoors